you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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