so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He felt like a one man threesome
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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