how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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