you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
