used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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