I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
