so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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