hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
