Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize