I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
