is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
