i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
