Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
