I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Randomize
