Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(409): View more from Texas

Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,

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(409): Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better, http://tfl.nu/6vha

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.

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(952): I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa. http://tfl.nu/1yb9

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(614): View more from Ohio

You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.

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(614): You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat. http://tfl.nu/8yi0

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(402): View more from Nebraska

New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area

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(402): New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area http://tfl.nu/w77p

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(425): View more from Washington

My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed

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(425): My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed http://tfl.nu/4mh9

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(474): View more from

Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.

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(474): Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now. http://tfl.nu/0awf

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(310): View more from California

It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations

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(310): It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations http://tfl.nu/cpf7

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(330): View more from Ohio

My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob

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(330): My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob http://tfl.nu/j762

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(347): View more from New York

I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.

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(347): I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there. http://tfl.nu/8ypv

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(707): View more from California

I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor

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(707): I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/hlsl

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(503): View more from Oregon

She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?

(503): View more from Oregon

Employee of the year! :)

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(503): She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning? (503): Employee of the year! :) http://tfl.nu/boh1

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(209): View more from California

Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!

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(209): Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!! http://tfl.nu/rqsa

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(647): View more from Ontario

We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.

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(647): We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with. http://tfl.nu/g52q

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(613): View more from Ontario

Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad

(1-613): View more from Ontario

I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.

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(613): Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad (1-613): I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it. http://tfl.nu/4mo6

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.

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(204): I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad. http://tfl.nu/nxn2

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