Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.

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(248): I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you. http://tfl.nu/rwr0

Replies (1) Good night (1156) Bad night (573)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.

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(931): Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/ee6d

Replies (5) Good night (2195) Bad night (745)
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(718): View more from New York

"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.

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(718): "Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut. http://tfl.nu/b4vo

Replies (95) Good night (6017) Bad night (1214)
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(540): View more from Virginia

At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.

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(540): At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke. http://tfl.nu/qku8

Replies (8) Good night (982) Bad night (3728)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.

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(601): I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk. http://tfl.nu/k978

Replies (13) Good night (3744) Bad night (1183)
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(512): View more from Texas

She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!

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(512): She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them! http://tfl.nu/ovo7

Replies (20) Good night (6583) Bad night (1275)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?

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(973): You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later? http://tfl.nu/a1oo

Replies (18) Good night (6270) Bad night (1094)
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(217): View more from Illinois

it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.

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(217): it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex. http://tfl.nu/bdfn

Replies (5) Good night (4810) Bad night (869)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?

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(918): Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision? http://tfl.nu/w6zq

Replies (9) Good night (2768) Bad night (558)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.

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(541): Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer. http://tfl.nu/uwby

Replies (7) Good night (979) Bad night (667)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?

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(613): I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/khmv

Replies (5) Good night (756) Bad night (586)
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(416): View more from Toronto

cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.

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(416): cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home. http://tfl.nu/bx4b

Replies (3) Good night (1170) Bad night (383)
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(212): View more from New York

Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.

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(212): Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing. http://tfl.nu/bv2c

Replies (1) Good night (594) Bad night (316)
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(256): View more from Alabama

She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years

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(256): She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years http://tfl.nu/rsfn

Replies (4) Good night (434) Bad night (510)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me

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(+44): HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me http://tfl.nu/upe9

Replies (4) Good night (688) Bad night (304)

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