Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
