god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
