I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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