If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
