dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
my liver is dry heaving
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
