I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
soo... how was my night?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
