Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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