If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
