We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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