i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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