Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
