dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
