I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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