My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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