Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
