..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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