the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Vodka?
Forever.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
