Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
