You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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