One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She's the barista slut.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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