margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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