i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
