just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
My cat gives me a boner
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
