i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
