nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
