Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
