I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
