i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
