it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
