i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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