Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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