I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
