Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
