you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
