apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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