he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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