if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize