Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
