Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
