I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
