it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
