i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
