next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
