he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
