week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
