I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
