just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
