Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
