what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
