Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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