oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
