Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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