who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize