We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
