Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
