The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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