Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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