i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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