Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
