she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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