my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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