all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
