this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
