Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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