I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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